What to Say to Someone You Haven’t Spoken to in Years

“Hi Sam, this might be a bit out of the blue. We worked together at XYZ around 2011 and I was thinking about those days recently. I came across your profile and thought I’d say hello. Hope you’re doing well.”

That’s plenty.

You can make it warmer.

“Hi Jess. I was thinking about school recently and you popped into my head. It’s been a ridiculous number of years, but I wondered how you were going. No pressure to reply — I just wanted to say hello.”

Still simple.

Still normal.

Say so.

“Hi Michael. I’m Eddie. We worked together in the Brisbane office of ABC around 2009. I’m not sure if you’ll remember me, but I came across your profile recently and wanted to say hello.”

There’s nothing wrong with giving them an escape hatch.

It actually makes the whole thing less awkward.

This is worth saying.

You might have found their employer, current city, family members and a dozen other things while trying to work out whether it was them.

That does not mean you should mention any of it.

Even public information can feel very different when someone repeats it back to you unexpectedly.

You’re not doing anything wrong by politely contacting someone you genuinely knew.

So I’d avoid opening with:

“Sorry to bother you.”

Just be normal.

That’s really the whole point.

You’re not trying to explain the last 20 years.

You’re just saying:

I remember you.

I hope you’re well.

If you’d like to talk, I’d like that too.

And then you leave the rest up to them.